Make way Cowell, Clarkson is the man the public want.
Our recent Facebook poll asked who would be your ideal choice for the next addition to the X Factor judging team. Somewhat surprisingly, this led to a landslide victory for none other than Top Gear’s own tall glass of biting sarcasm and frizzy hair: Jeremy Clarkson!
The smooth-talking, often controversial car commentator smashed aside all opposition with over 500 votes. The closest competitor was the crazy, yet undeniably talented, Lady Gaga, but even the prospect of the crazy lady turning up to every show in a new outfit of candyfloss or live otters didn’t secure Gaga the top spot.
So Clarkson is the man that you want to see grace the X Factor judging panel at the earliest opportunity. Well, let’s take a look at what inherent skills Jeremy has that might just make him the ideal judge:
He Tells it Like it is
There’s no denying that Clarkson has few qualms about cutting through the niceties and spelling things out, often in a less than complimentary fashion. If he were to slate bad contestants in the same way he dismisses cars he dislikes, there could be a few more tears than usual.
While nobody wants to see unnecessary cruelty, some contestants sorely need to be taken down a peg or two, which makes for great entertainment.
X Factor has already seen some tough-talkers in the form of Simon Cowell and Gary Barlow, but Jeremy Clarkson could eclipse them both with his biting remarks!
The Man Can Turn a Phrase
If innumerable seasons of Top Gear have taught us anything, it’s that Jeremy Clarkson has a way with words. Whether he loves or hates a particular vehicle, he has no problem articulating his feelings, usually in the form of a snappy simile or an amusing metaphor.
If Clarkson were to be the next X Factor judge, we could well look forward to phrases like this being bandied around the panel:
“Your voice is like golden syrup poured over warm bread, all served up on a platter made entirely of babies’ laughter.”
“That was so awful that I would eagerly trade places with a downed US pilot held in a Vietnamese prison camp in order to avoid hearing it again!”
“This girl doesn’t have just one song in her performance arsenal… she has several!”
Clarkson Courts Controversy
Whether he’s inadvertently accusing truckers from Ipswich of killing prostitutes, or making another crack at the Germans, Clarkson just loves skating on thin ice. Occasionally that motormouth of his will land him in trouble, much to the amusement of the nation and the national papers.
X Factor is a show that thrives on a little bit of controversy to spice things up, so Clarkson is the perfect accompaniment to the judging panel. He’s cheeky enough to make a splash, yet not so controversial that he’ll drown the show in bad press.
Tough Love Motivator
Every judge in the X Factor process so far has either been a musical performer themselves or managed musical acts instead. Jeremy Clarkson has done neither.
However, this shouldn’t bar him from the mentoring process of X Factor. On the contrary, it would be refreshing to see what kind of coaching style a musical layman would be able to bring to the competition. Clarkson is pretty famous for not putting up with things he thinks are bad or just plain wrong, so we could definitely see him dispensing some “tough love” to the contestants taken under his wing.
Bring on Jezza!
So with all of his sharp-tongued and slightly rough charm, Jeremy Clarkson would be one hell of an interesting addition to the X Factor judges panel. One thing’s for sure, the viewers would get some seriously quotable moments!
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