Whether you’re flying from your local airport or one of the larger ones, you either love or hate the airport experience, the start of your holiday or a necessary evil to get to your sunbed. The airport brings out the strangest behaviour in the best of us…
The Airport Action List
1. Vow to book ‘on-site’ parking next year after driving round the airport for 90 minutes looking for ‘Joe’s Airport Parking’
2. Pick your chin off the floor when you realise the 300 strong queue that snakes around half the departure lounge is for your flight
3. Create a barrier with your suitcase at the check-in line to foil anyone planning on jumping the queue
4. Announce your destination to the check-in agent whilst furiously flapping around for your passport
[Tweet “Announce your destination to the check-in agent whilst furiously flapping around for your passport #disorganised”]
5. Take a deep breath as you place your suitcase on the scales…
6. Let out a big sigh of relief when you see that you’re under your allowance
7. Crack a naff joke that you’re two kilograms underweight and could have packed the two extra pairs of shoes, four bikinis and the inflatable ring that didn’t make the final cut
8. Check your bag/pocket a total of 327 times between check-in and boarding to be sure your passport is safe
9. Practically strip before walking through the body scanner, but still pat yourself down (just in case)
10. Blame the wire in your bra when the alarms go off on the scanners
[Tweet “Blame the wire in your bra when the alarms go off on the scanners #airport”]
11. Get picked out for the full body pat down, after which you announce to anyone who will listen that it always happens to you
12. Order a full English breakfast and a pint at 4am. You’re on holiday, it’s perfectly acceptable!
13. Come to the realisation that the airport prices are not in fact duty free, but treat yourself anyway because you’re on ‘your holidays’
14. Instagram a photo of your boarding pass tucked into your passport, with unnecessary extra hashtags
15. Freshen up in duty free with about four different smells on the sly
16. Touch two thirds of the duty free range, but not purchase one single item
17. Feel shocked that a bottle of water costs almost as much as an alcoholic drink so go with the latter for cost efficiency
18. Purposefully walk past the airport reps handing out free samples of spirits, claim that “it’s nice”, and promise that you’ll pop back with your credit card later
19. Update your status with…
[Tweet “Enjoy work suckers, see you in a week LOL! #holidays”]
20. Use the facilities six times in two hours because you don’t like the loos on the plane
21. Pick out the rowdy stag/hen do and pray that they aren’t on your flight
22. Get chatting to a complete stranger and find that by the end of the conversation you’re up to speed with their last 14 holidays
23. Stand for 20 minutes in the WHSmith queue to buy the finishing touches – 13 ‘true life’ magazines and hard boiled sweets for your ears
24. Stare at the flight departures board and then yell “that’s us”, and rush off to the gate even though you still have 45 minutes to go
25. Stand up first when you’re flight is called, even though you’re in row 10 and they’re boarding from the rear, so you loiter around the queue
26. Hand your passport over at the boarding gate to be unceremoniously told they don’t need it
27. Feel like you’ve qualified for the cabin crew wings when you know which side of the aircraft you’re sitting on
28. Wish the rowdy stag/hen do were on your flight instead of the tired and grumpy 3-year-old you are sitting next to
29. Step off in sunnier climes and say to yourself “I wish I’d worn shorts to travel in”, despite the fact that it was only two-degrees in Newcastle
30. Stand at baggage reclaim hoping your suitcase made it, and when you find out it did, wonder why it’s soaking wet despite the 40-degree heat outside
and finally (we’ve all been here)…
31. Feel like you’re entering a rugby scrum as you lean in to retrieve your case from the belt
Tell us your airport experiences in the comments below!
Facebook
Twitter
Email 
